Karen Ruby

Review: The Alchemist

I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho yesterday. Right from page one, I started underlining sentences and I think I must have underlined something on every single page. I got so much out of this book and I really recommend it if you are looking for a purpose and a reason to pursue your dreams.

I can't remember where I read that this book was a must-read (probably Oprah magazine or one of my daily RSS feeds that I read), but I'm really glad that I ordered this book from Amazon. I had never heard of Paulo Coelho, but apparently he is a very famous Brazilian author with many influential books.

From the jacket cover:

"This story, dazzing in its powerful simplicity and inspiring wisdom, is about an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago who travels from his homeland in Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of a treasure buried in the Pyramids. Along the way he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself king, and an alchemist, all of whom point Santiago in the direction of his quest.. No one knows what the treasure is, or if Santiago will be able to surmount the obstacles along the way."

The story is very simple, but the lessons imparted in the book are timeless: that everyone has a purpose in life or a dream when they were young that came from their heart, but as they grew up they listened less and less to their hearts and allowed their dreams to die. The universe is waiting to help you fulfil that dream, if you would only listen and pay attention to the omens in your life which are leading to what your heart really desires.

Some more pearls of wisdom from the book:

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting."

"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."

"...that a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie."

"It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything that they would like to see happen to them in their lives."

"...people need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want. We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."

"It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the Master Work. Now, I'm beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I'm happy at least that I didn't wait twenty years."

"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure."

There's not anything really new and earth-shattering in this book, but the writings and story speaks so well and sometimes we have to be in the mood to hear and pay attention to universal truths. I won't reveal what happens to Santiago along his journey for his personal treasure, but this book has a lot to say in its simple story and I would recommend that you read it if you are interested in listening to your heart and following your dream. It's never too late.

Tags: The Alchemist Paulo Coelho

Yes, Yes, Yes Saying Yes More

Does saying Yes more often mean saying No? If I say Yes to something that is happening in my life doesn't that mean that I'm saying No to something else that I could be doing with my time, energy, money? Are they mutually exclusive? It's true that to obtain different results, you have to change your thinking and perspective.

Bert over at Open Loops has an interesting post about guy who spent a year saying Yes to all sorts of questions, some with great results and some with not-so-great results.

It was quite timely to read Bert's post because for the last couple of months I've been saying Yes to more things in my life than I think I have ever in the past.

It's so easy to say No (at least for me it is). No, I would rather not go out dancing with you. No, I would rather stay home tonight and not go out to dinner with you because I have to work tomorrow. No, I would rather not meet you for drinks after work. No, I'm going to stay home this weekend and relax and not take in that new movie. No, I think I will watch my usual shows and not the show you think I must absolutely watch. No, I didn't do anything exciting this weekend. No, it costs too much money for me to accompany you on that trip. No, thanks, it's too much of a bother for me to get to your place and I'd rather just relax on Sunday.

Yikes, I'm the queen of saying No. I know a lot of my friends will agree with me on this.

But, I hope that they will also agree that I have been saying Yes a lot more lately. I don't know what it is. Perhaps, it's because I had a birthday a few weeks ago and realized another year has just gone zipping by.

So, some of the things that I've said Yes to lately:

• Yes, I will go to Las Vegas with you. I've always wanted to go and I'll put it on my VISA and worry about the cost later.
• Yes, I will go out to dinner with you.
• Yes, here is my personal email address and yes, you can email me to set up time to meet.
• Yes, I will upgrade my computer and not wait anymore. I'm so happy that I spent the money and did this.
• Yes, I will go on that bus tour to Casino Rama where I've never been there before. I had a great time and met some new potential friends.
• Yes, I will have lunch with you. (Yes, I will have coffee with you).
• Yes, I will go to the Halloween Fright Night Walking Tour even though I have to go by myself and may not know anyone there.
• Yes, I will go to the dance club with you this Saturday night, even though I have absolutely nothing to wear to this fancy club.
• Yes, you can give me a ride home. This in reaction to a guy that I just met who lived near me, even though my first inclination was to say No and take the subway home that night.
• Yes, you can buy me a drink, thank you.
• Yes, I will email this new potential friend back and see where it leads.
• Yes, I will go to the Personal and Professional Coaching session. Yes, I will go out afterwards with some of the group rather than just going straight home because I have to work the next day.
• Yes, I will go to that 4 men, 4 women dinner in two weeks to that fancy restaurant, even if I have to go by myself and have to dress up.

Earlier this year, I said Yes to changing my job. Believe me, this was the biggest Yes I've said this year and took a lot of courage to do so. I've learned that the more I say Yes to in my life, the easier it gets and the more enjoyment I'm receiving out of it. I'm not going to say Yes to everything, I think that's just foolish, but I am trying to dampen my automatic No when I can say Yes to more opportunities.

What can you say Yes to in your life right now?

Just something to think about.

Marshall Goldsmith Free Library

I saw on the Fast Company Now blog that Marshall Goldsmith has decided to provide his articles, videos, interviews, and columns free for everyone to read, download and share. What a gift!

Who is Marshall Goldsmith? "Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams." He's written quite a few articles on FC that are very inspiring and useful.

I love Fast Company -- here's the link to the Fast Company articles Marshall wrote: http://www.marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com/cim/FastCompany.php

Some of Marshall's articles from the magazine include:

• Who Are You Arguing With? (FC, April 2005) (doc)
• Do You Love What You Do? (FC, March 2005) (doc)
• If They Don't Care, Don't Waste Your Time (FC, July 2004) (doc)
• Why Even Thinking About Retirement Can Be A Bad Idea (FC, January 2004) (doc)
• How To Learn The Truth About Yourself (FC, October 2003) (doc)
• ... and many more

Some of his Leadership Excellence articles include:

• Coaching Leaders (Leadership Excellence, 2005) (doc)
• From Good To Great (Leadership Excellence, September 2004) (doc)
• Creating Diversity (Leadership Excellence, May 2003) (doc)
• Building Partnerships (Leadership Excellence, March 2003) (doc)

Check out his free online library here: http://www.marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com/

Analytical Thinking

The ability to think analytically and critically is crucial to being successful and fulfilling your purpose. It is so easy to be sidetracked from your purpose and goals. I'm currently reading Napoleon Hill's Keys to Success: The 17 Principles of Personal Achievement. Remember he wrote the classic book Think and Grow Rich. I'm sure you've heard of it before.

You have to be very careful which thoughts, ideas, and opinions you allow to enter your consciousness. This is where being able to think analytically is crucial. There is a good chapter in the book where Napoleon Hill advises:

Accurate thinking is based on two types of reasoning:

1. Induction. This is the act of reasoning from a part to a whole, from the particular to the general, from the individual to the universal. It is based on experience and experimentation and draws conclusions from them.
2. Deduction. In this act of reasoning specific conclusions are based on general logical assumptions.

It is very important that you question assumptions and do not make false conclusions, based on inaccurate opinions. As Napoleon Hill says:

To be an accurate thinker, you must take two important steps:

1. Separate facts from opinions, fictions, unproved hypotheses, and heresay.
2. Separate facts into two categories: important and unimportant.

We are so bombarded with information every day, from such a variety of sources, that it's very difficult sometimes to think and process the information, never-mind actually question the facts of the article or the agenda of the writer. I know myself that I need to work on thinking more analytically about what, exactly, is behind some of the things I read. Does the author simply want my money? Do they want me to buy their products? Change my vote? Speak out against or for their viewpoint? I have a tendency to take people at face value and not see that everyone has an agenda (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). This is why it's important to know what your purpose and goals are.

Napoleon Hill offers 6 good questions that you should ask yourself when you read a book:

1. Is the writer a recognized authority on the subject covered?
2. Did the writer have a motive in writing the book other than imparting accurate information? What is that motive?
3. Does the writer have a profit interest in the subject matter?
4. Is the writer a person of sound judgement or a fanatic?
5. Are there easily accessible sources to check and verify the writer's statements?
6. Do the writer's statements harmonize with common sense and experience?

Additionally, to think analytically:

Before you accept anyone's statements as fact, you must try to find the motive behind those statements.

You must rely upon your own judgement and be cautious no matter who is trying to influence you.

When you are able to think analytically, you are not swayed by other's opinions or thinking. You are able to concentrate on your own purpose.

Just something to think about.

Personal Responsibility

This article is so true: "Personal responsibility waning, experts say", by Steven Thomma. It's true that in today's society that not enough people accept personal responsibility for their lives and their actions. I fear that with the rush to have it all, now, we've forgotten some basic truths that our parents knew - that working really hard for something makes us appreciate it more, that it's through our mistakes and failures that we learn the most, that it order to take control over your life, you have to accept the good and the bad, and we need to treat others as we ourselves would wish to be treated. Who's fault is this? Our society and culture? The media? Our parents? Our upbringing? The politicians/celebrities/wealthy who seem to get away with their misdeeds?

Historians, philosophers, political scientists and sociologists cite many reasons for the decline of an ethic of responsibility in America over recent decades, including:

• A culture of narcissism or self-absorption
• The rise of celebrity worship and entitlement
• The distractions of the war on terrorism

Whatever the reasons, most experts agree that how people feel about their obligations has changed, particularly for those in positions of power and influence.

"Responsibility is waning. The strong sense of holding people responsible is getting more and more difficult," said Joan McGregor, a philosopher at Arizona State University. "We still hold people responsible all the time in a legal sense. But in a moral sense, it's as though no one is responsible any more."

Americans adopted a new post-1960s attitude that society - not the individual - was to blame for errant behavior. They created no-fault divorce and no-fault auto insurance. Increasingly, they also turned to lawsuits to blame others for their own choices.

I don't have a solution to this problem, but I know it's a slippery slope once you decide to blame others or society for your problems. No one is a victim in today's society, we all have choices.

Speaking of choices, here's an interesting article: Borderless blogs vs. Canada press ban by Rondi Adamson on the Gomery scandal and how a US blogger chose to publicize the testimony of people involved in the scandal, in direct violation of a Canadian publication ban. What I particularly like about this article is this sentence: "Freedom should not be mistaken for license." What right did this American blogger have to write about the scandal, when a Canadian judge determined that it was in the best interests of Canadian citizens, in order not to pollute the potential jury pool, to keep testimony out of the media? None, in my opinion. I'm not defending the Liberals or anyone involved in the scandal, my point is, that if there is a law, even if it's a law you don't agree with or is from another country, and just because you have the 'freedom' to write it, doesn't mean you should take that 'license'. The US blogger should take personal responsibility for their actions in flaunting and breaking Canadian law.

I know it's moot now, since Justice Gomery lifted the ban, but in my opinion, intentionally breaking the publication ban was just plain wrong.

It's time to take some personal responsibility.

Perception is Reality

If we perceive something to be real, does that make it real? If I perceive myself to be a really good programmer, does that fit with reality? Do others perceive me that way, or am I just fooling myself? If it's my reality, does that make it real?

A couple of examples to illustrate: A classmate at one of my night school classes mentioned to me that a co-worker of hers was in my other night school class. It's a small world, isn't it? When the co-worker asked my classmate if she knew me, and mentioned that I was blond, I didn't think she was talking about me. You see, I don't consider myself blond. I changed the highlights in my hair about six months ago and I guess you can mistake me for being blond. My hair is not entirely dyed blond, just highlighted, but I guess there is enough for people to describe me as being blond. (I have nothing against blonds, by the way). It's just that I always thought of myself as having brown hair, bluish eyes, and when someone describes you in a different way than how you perceive yourself, it really makes you think. This is a trivial example, I know, but it really made me perceive myself differently. I guess other people see me as being blond. I kinda like that.

The other example is when you perceive your 'worth' money-wise. If you think of yourself as a good worker and feel that you are 'worth', let's say $50, 000 per year, when someone comes along and is willing to pay you, let's say $85, 000, it changes your perception of yourself. (I'm not talking about me in this example) Your eyes are opened to the possibilities, wow, my skills are worth $85, 000?!.

This is why I like reading books on success, personal development, finance, and other genres that get you to change your perception about the world, your life, and your possibilities.

I finished Brian Tracy's 'Change Your Thinking Change Your Life' book last week. Very interesting. I've read a lot of his books and similar personal development books so they are all starting to sound very similar, but I thought that he had some really good points that stuck with me.

When you believe something to be true, it becomes true for you, whatever the fact may be. "You are not what you think you are, but what you think, you are."

The fact is that you can never earn much more or less than your self-concept level of income. If you want to make more money, you have to change your beliefs about yourself relative to income and money.

Your aim is to become so confident, courageous, strong, and resolute that you can set any goal for yourself with the firm knowledge that you can learn what you need to learn, and do what you need to do, to eventually achieve it.

The more different things you do that are likely to help you to achieve your goal, the more likely it is you will do the right thing at the right time.

Prosperous and wealthy people have a prosperous and wealthy mind-set...When you develop the same mind-set that other successful people have, you will soon enjoy the same results and experiences that they do.

The greatest wealth you could possibly possess is between your ears. You can create an unlimited future for yourself by tapping into your brainpower and channeling it, like a powerful current, to energize your life and get you anything you really want.

If you generate 20 ideas per day, 5 days per week, 50 weeks per year, you will come up with an astounding total of 5,000 new ideas to improve your life and work each year.

The most important principle of human life is that you become what you think about most of the time. The most successful men and women report the same things. They think about what they want and how to get it most of the time.

In the book, Brian Tracy outlines 6 steps to achieving any goal. They are:

• Step 1: Decide exactly what you want
• Step 2: Write down your goals
• Step 3: Be willing to pay the price
• Step 4: Make a detailed plan
• Step 5: Take action on your plan
• Step 6: Do something every day
• Step 7: Never give up

I think Step 1 is the hardest. Once you decide what it is that you want, the other steps just seem to fall into place. At least that's my experience. If you want something badly enough, chances are that you will do what it takes to achieve it. You will pay the price, if it's worth it to you.

I saw this comment on Fast Company's weblog this morning that I think is also very true and interesting:

Internal wants trump external needs all the time...even when the wants cause problems. Behavior changes, as they are often acted out, lack a root of inner motivation to be different than before.

Many people simply do not want to change that much.

Brian Tracy in his book advocates writing down your goals every morning. In this way, you are changing your thinking and re-enforcing what is important to you. I've adopted this practice and will post the results. I really, really want some of these goals to become not just my perception, but my reality.

One Minute Millionaire, Part III

"All is takes is a dream, a team, and a theme to create a stream of perpetual income". One Minute Millionaire

As I've previously posted here and here, the One Minute Millionaire book is really two books in one. One half of the books tells the story of Michelle, who after her husband dies, loses custody of her children. She must come up with $1 million dollars in 90-days to regain custody. A powerful motivation. She does it with the help of a Dream Team and through MSIs. You have to buy the book to learn exactly how.

The second part of the book provides practical advice, 24 Ahas or Principles of Wealth. The ones that resonated with me were:

The 9th Aha: Wealth is Freedom

The 10th Aha: It All Starts with a Dream

The 12th Aha: More Clarity is More Powerful

The 13th Aha: Tap Into Your Genius

The 15th Aha: Imagination Trumps Will

The 17th Aha: You Already Know the Answer

The 18th Aha: Be Congruent

The entire book is about MSI (Multiple Streams of Income) which include: Real Estate, Investments, Business and Internet. The book leans heavily towards the Real Estate route, but provides really good examples and principles for obtaining MSIs in Investments, Business and the Internet. As the author notes: 'Our objective is to awaken the entrepreneur that is hidden inside you'. Or, as in the Internet MSI case, the 'info-preneur' hidden inside you. This really spoke to me, too. We all have information inside of us that we can share with the world, some obstacle that we've overcome, or some talent we have, or some knowledge that we can share to earn us another source of income. It's certainly got me thinking.

I also liked the way the book presents the topic of increasing your MoneySkills (Value, Control, Save, Invest, Earn, Shield, Share). This topic was unique, in my opinion. I haven't seen it outlined in quite this way before.

I liked this quote, too: 'Find value or Create value' - Warren Buffet. All we have to do it look around us and be aware of opportunities. If other people can do it, then so can you (and me).

There's a really good discussion on Leverage (Mentors, Teams, Networks, Infinite Networks, Tools and Skills, Systems). I know that I need to focus more on this section in my own life.

Now I understand why there are so many reviews of this book and why people have recommended it. Check out their website here to review their book and see what resources they offer for free.

I'm recommending it, too.

The Universe and Pay It Forward

'The Universe works in mysterious ways'. A cliché, I know. We've all heard this saying, but it's also very true. 'What goes around comes around'. Another cliche, another truth. I believe in this truth a lot. I've seen it work in my own life. There have been more than a few times in my life, where I've wanted to say something to someone or email someone about something and instead of listening to the little voice inside my head saying things like 'why would they be interested in what you have to say?', 'oh, I'm sure someone else would have emailed them the same thing or let them know before me', 'they wouldn't want to hear from me, it's been so long and we've lost touch', and 'why get involved?'. But, I've learned to ignore that little negative voice and gone ahead and emailed that person or talked to them.

Two recent events have happened that illustrates what I'm trying to say. I can't get into specifics, but I'll try to make sense. The first one involved someone sending me a newsletter offering to sell some goods and services to me. I noticed that they offered to sell me something that was copyrighted by someone I knew. My first inclination was to just let it go, after all, I'm sure someone else would let my other friend/acquaintance know that this other person was selling what was her stuff. After a few hours, I thought, just in case she didn't know, I would forward her the original email, it's the least I can do. She didn't know what was happening, none of her so-called friends had bothered to let her know (each probably thought somebody else would notify her) and thanked me profusely for stopping this other person from selling her copyrighted material and, essentially, stealing from her. I felt pretty good that I followed through and ignored the negative voice inside of me.

The second recent event involved, strangely enough, again the first person in the above paragraph. They had sent me an announcement of a business closing, which was news to me since I had made plans to visit the business this week as part of a larger organized event. I, again, thought I'm sure that the event organizers would have heard about the place closing and would send out an announcement or something. But, I learn from my past, so I sent them the original email to see if they had heard anything. They hadn't, of course. The long and short of it was, there were some things that were true in the original email and some things that were not true. The event was still taking place at the business. So, even though I sent a 'false alarm' in this case, the club organizer was very grateful for the heads-up and it could have easily gone the other way and the event might have been negatively impacted.

I've also sent emails to people, just to let them know that I was thinking of them and hoped that they were having a good day. Or one time, I sent a Happy Valentine's Day to everyone in my address book (each addressed individually). I got back 3 emails from my friends thanking me for thinking of them. One of my friends even emailed that he felt so bad that entire day up until he received my email because no one had bothered to say Happy Valentine's Day or contact him. He was single at the time and was finding it difficult to go through that day alone. He was so happy to hear from me, one of his long-distance friends. It blew me away, that something that I thought was so small and insignificant for me to do, that I was even debating whether to bother or not, that only took about 10 minutes, meant so much to him.

You have no idea sometimes what your 'small' actions mean to someone else. That's not to say that we should do something with the thought of getting something out of it in mind. If by you doing something small can help someone else out, then why not do it? Pay it forward. There are a ton of examples out there that proves that this works. We all need help sometimes and it's amazing where that help will come from, most of the time it comes from the least likely place.

The moral is: don't assume somebody else will do it, if you don't. Don't assume that the person doesn't want to hear from you, they may be there waiting just for you to contact them. Don't assume you will look stupid or be embarrassed or foolish by getting involved. What goes around, comes around. The Universe really does work in mysterious ways.

Just something to think about.

Ask, Ask, Ask for that Raise!

I was talking to a friend of mine last week and she mentioned that she hadn't had a raise in over 3 years. People who know me, know that this is a major pet peeve of mine - that some women are taken advantage of and are scared to ask for what they want and deserve. I know how hard it is to get up the courage to ask for a raise, especially when your manager is a man, but this is something that I make myself do. Not just to earn more money (although that's a major reason for asking) but because it builds my self-esteem, my courage muscles, and my confidence. It also gets easier the more you ask for what you want, not just asking for a raise, but in the 'simple' task of every day asking.

It's important to have the right motivation and resources before we can ask for what we want. You first have to know what you want, whether it's a 10 percent increase, an extra week of vacation, a better project, training, or the corner cubicle with the windows overlooking the park. You also have to believe that it's possible to get it. This is the book that provided me with the right motivation to ask for and obtain my last raise: Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach. I constantly re-read this book to get the motivation to ask. Check out his website here. Another one of David's books: Start Late, Finish Rich offers some fantastic advice for people to start getting their financial affairs in order. It's never too late. It really isn't.

The second thing people, especially women, need to know that it's not hard to ask for what you want. 'No' is just a word. We have to get over the rejection. Other people ask for what they want every day. Other people get raises, even when the company says it's in a salary-freeze or it's all over the news how bad the economy is or whatever excuse you can come up with. The bottom line is, if you haven't had an increase in the last year or two, you are making less money than you were the year before, just due to inflation. If you value what you do and the company values your skills, then there's no reason why they shouldn't increase your salary to what the market is paying. You still have a job don't you? Then obviously they value what you do or you wouldn't be there. If you need to upgrade your skills, then what are you waiting for? Permission? Just go do it and in 3-6 months ask for the raise. Do you really think the guy in the next cubicle is scared of asking for more money? Don't forget, just because he's a man, he's probably making more money than you anyways! David's books and this book: The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen can say it better than I ever could. Just go buy/read/borrow the books and ask for the raise! You have nothing to lose by asking for what you want. I just wish we as women don't settle for what is given to us, that we have the courage to ask for what we want when it comes to money and things that make our lives better. If I can do it, so can you. Truly.

On a similar topic:

Why should we settle for less than what we want? Another friend and I were discussing my penchant for being 'picky' when we go to eat in the food court and I don't just sit at the first table that is free. If I have a preference for padded benches, good lighting, a clean table, a table by ourselves, and if one is available, why should I settle for the first table? The same goes for almost anything else. If I like to write with a Pilot G2 black pen, why should I settle for any old pen lying around? If I prefer to eat chicken fried rice when we go to a certain restaurant because that's what I like, I shouldn't have to justify it or order something else just because I have a preference and I order the same thing every time. I don't think anybody should just settle for something if it's within their power to get what they want and if they have a clear preference. If you don't care about where you sit or write with or eat or how much money you earn or whatever, then that's your choice. Just don't belittle my choices.

Just something to think about.

Our Unique Gift

I just finished watching the movie Ray. What a fantastic movie about the life of Ray Charles! I definitely think that Jamie Foxx should win this year for the Oscars. What an incredible performance!

Of course, I know who Ray Charles is and have listened to his music before, but I never really knew anything about his life and the struggles that he went through. I highly recommend this movie. It really made me think about how incredibly gifted Ray Charles Robinson was as a musician. He discovered his gift or purpose very early on in his life. It also made me think about what if he didn't have the internal fortitude to showcase his music, what if he gave up and abandoned his gift because he was blind and it was too hard? We would never have had his beautiful music to listen to if he didn't believe in himself and share his gift with the world.

Everyone has something, a gift, that they are born with and I do believe that it's our job to discover just what that gift is and share it with the world. It may not be as grand as being a famous musician or artist or movie star or anything that you get a lot of money for or become famous for, but just that one little something that you have, your gift, that makes you totally unique. There are over 6 billion people on this planet and every single one of us is one-of-a-kind. There is absolutely no one on this planet who is the same as you or me. People are people, yes, we do have a lot in common, but no two people are alike. It may be that your gift is being the greatest dad or mom in your world, or maybe you can whistle (I know I can't), or draw incredibly lifelike pictures, or take awe-inspiring photos or have an incredible sense of humour, or be able to make anyone feel at ease or have the ability to devote to other people, or whatever. It's something that makes you, you. You do have it, you just have to uncover it. And share it.

Just something to think about.